Saturday, July 21, 2012

IKEA CUSTOMIZED



IKEA. The most exciting big box store to visit. They have sofas to rest on when your wife takes way too long to find things for the house. And a restaurant that sells some decent cakes.
Eating cake on a sofa and not get into trouble for it, that's why I love IKEA.

For many month Victoria told me that in her next kitchen she will buy a very popular item from them to use as her pantry. A PAX wardrobe with shelves only. Makes sense. Holds plenty of stuff and is pretty to look at. Buy it, bring it home with some cake and a bottle of wine, spend a leisurely afternoon together building a pantry. Lovely. Easy 1 2 3, the instructions are there.

But what if husband has two left hands, no power tools and the kitchen has a sloping floor? I am very screwed by IKEA. For an exercise we also bought a small step ladder, a mere ten minute assembly job. If you are good. I am not. I asked for a hammer to get the screws in. The holes were too small for the screws...
It remains my firm belief that IKEA'S home assembly furniture concept contributes to the high divorce rates in the developed world in a major way. Unintended maybe, but still guilty as charged. I mean, did you ever look at a PAX wardrobe before it's assembled?   They named that piece PAX, which means PEACE in Latin,  in my eyes that is very misleading advertising! They should have called it WAR. Be more truthful.
Not just particle board that crumbles when you hit your elbow on it, there are metal rails, glass panels to fit, tiny tools to work with and all that with the most comical instructions to boot. I think pot is legal in Sweden. Whoever draws those instructions cannot be sober.
Regardless, before my temper got the best of me, Victoria did the sensible thing and called in the pro. 

Johnathan Turner, the wood genius from England, who installed our kitchen cabinets and already is familiar with our free range kitchen floor, was more than happy to assist and save me from insanity. 
A trained carpenter, he got the know how, the power tools, the calm, as well as the passion to work with anything wood. Even paperback walls he says. Apparently it takes patience too. Another trait I don't possess.
He did not even need any wine to put it all up in a perfect manner. A cup of coffee did the trick. After watching him work I suffered from major carpentry envy. 

He did mumble a few times about the particle board and how he could have built us something similar made of solid wood for less, so if any Charentaise people read this, he is your man for anything wood. I go this number.  

All is good in the house. The pantry looks great, does not wobble or lean forward, no glass panels are chipped  and I have an inkling that GF PATISSERIE will take over the whole cabinet anyway, three shelves are already filled with all things gluten free, to experiment and test new recipes. And that's OK.  
Johnathan is building a nice piece for my Espresso machine. Already assembled.






USUALLY A WARDROBE

TOO MANY PARTS FOR AN AMATEUR

THE OLD CABINET

A VERY UNEVEN FLOOR (I TOLD YOU, NO TOOLS)

CUT THE LEGS

THE PRO AT WORK

WITH ALL THE TOOLS & TALENT

AND PAYS ATTENTION TO DETAIL

TWO BOXES

PERFECT FIT

ADD SHELVES AND IT'S A PERFECT PANTRY

ALL DONE!

2 comments:

Nadege said...

That is a funny post and so true. Remodeling, moving... all causes for divorce.

H.Peter said...

Thank you.
It has been in the making for a while....